Alright #BossBabes, who is ready for Rule Number Two and learning how to unlock your inner #GirlBoss and building the business and future of your dreams?!
Hopefully, you’ve had time from last week to do some soul searching and have uncovered some of your inner passions. I’m talking about your ultimate reasons WHY, your bucket fillers, and what gets you out of bed each and every morning. That one thing (or a few things, perhaps) that sets your soul on FIRE and makes you want to dedicate all of your time and energy to doing more of!
If you remember, at the end of last week, I asked you to take the time to complete a super special challenge to help get your mindset focused for uncovering your hidden passions. I asked you to spend some time alone reflecting on your happiness, parts of your job or day that bring you joy (and then conversely what you can’t stand about your current situation or job), what you see for yourself in the future, what your dream job has always been, and a few more of those tough WHY questions.
Are you visualizing all your answers now?! Great! This was just the start. Hopefully, answering some of these not-so-easy questions got your brain thinking and your heart excited again over what it is you’re meant to be doing with your life! Now that you’ve got something in mind, it’s time to tackle Rule Number Two.
BECOMING A #BOSSBABE, RULE NUMBER TWO:
They Don’t Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care
That’s a nice little reality check, isn’t it? Unless the people in your life know how much you care about them, you won’t be able to make the difference you want to make with them. One of the things that makes a #BossBabe who she is is the desire to make a difference and empower others. And to make that difference with the greatest number of people, a #BossBabe knows that showing she cares will empower people more than anything she could teach them.
Let me start by saying that caring for people probably comes really naturally to each and every one of you. After all, as women, we are hardwired to care about the people in our lives. Please know that I’m not saying you don’t care about people, I’m sure you do! And sometimes the people we care about don’t know it because we don’t show it in a way that speaks to them. Or maybe you’re developing new relationships and partnerships, and you want to create an environment of caring and compassion but aren’t quite sure how to make that happen.
Now, you may instantly be thinking of your family, your team, your clients, etc., and saying, “Of course they know I care, Heidi! I’m working my buns off for them!!” And that (while important) won’t really matter if they don’t feel loved and cared about. A listening ear and an understanding heart go a long way with the people in your life.
The best example I have for this is our guy Bruce. You may remember Bruce from season four of the show who now works as a coach for our team. Bruce will be the first to admit that he may not have as much knowledge or experience when it comes to some of the things he’s out there teaching. But you know what? Bruce will ALWAYS be the first person to step up and try and help someone. Even if he doesn’t know the answer, he’s going to be the first one to make a connection and say, “We’ve got this, and I’m right here with you. You’re not alone.” And that speaks volumes to people. He might not have the right answer every single time right off the bat, but you can bet he’s going to do everything in his power to find it out for you. He will stop at nothing to help someone.
Watching people connect with Bruce is always such a treat for me. Because no matter what, Bruce is always his authentic self. And he cares. And being around someone like that is so infectious, and it inspires people to open up and be their authentic selves too. People end up loving Bruce because they know how much he cares! And then he’s able to teach them in a way that they can hear and apply, and they get amazing results!
Ways To Show You Care
Let’s start with one caveat: You really can’t have any other motives to show you care other than letting the other person know you care. This isn’t a strategy, a tactic, or an if-then situation. This is you being authentically you, getting into someone else’s world, and seeking to understand and empathize with them. This is your time to practice putting aside any selfish thoughts and to be present with someone in your life who you care about. It is truly a privilege! And while it comes naturally for the most part, there are three things you can do that will help you expand your ability to show you care.
It will be obvious from the get-go if you’re giving something to get something in return or if you’re truly interested in what the other person is dealing with and helping them.
One. Be curious! This goes for new relationships and for the people who you have known forever (read: hubs and the kiddos). It might seem odd to be curious about people you see day in and day out, but you’d be surprised by how much you may not know about them! Curiosity about what they are thinking, feeling, and dreaming about is a great way to find new ways to speak their love language. Even just being curious about how their day went lets them know you are thinking about them. For people you are just getting to know, curiosity is invaluable in fostering a relationship where you’re both engaged and on the same page. Practice keeping the phrase, “I wonder…” on the tip of your tongue and see how far a little curiosity will take you!
Two. Take the time to let people know you care! Sometimes when we’re in #BossBabe mode, it can be tempting to just jump in, get it done, and move on to the next task without paying attention to the people around us. I am here to set you straight: When your relationships with people are your #1 priority, everything else will fall into place. It might not happen when and how you first pictured it, but it will happen! So pause, take a deep breath, and take some time to really get in there and connect with the people in your life. This could be anything from snuggles on the couch with one of your kids to grabbing a coffee with one of your teammates. Whatever it looks like, spending time with the people you love will let them know you care!
Third, and finally, showing compassion and looking for ways to connect will show people you care. Personally, I step back occasionally and remind myself that everyone I know really is doing the best they can with what they have and that we are all “perfectly imperfect” and finding our way as we go. When I recognize this shared experience we all have as humans, I feel such compassion and connection with everyone in my life. It helps me to be vulnerable and authentic with them too!
For this week’s CHALLENGE, I want you to practice those three things:
- Being curious
- Giving your time
- Showing compassion
Not that you need to shift your entire way of living to do these three things, but I want to invite you to simply be aware of these things in your daily interactions.
Once you are aware of how curious, timing giving, and compassionate you are or are not, try doing one small thing each day that falls into one of these categories for someone in your life.
I want to hear how it goes, and I want to hear what you do to show people you care.
If you ignore all of my other rules (and I really hope you don’t!), let this be the rule that really resonates with you. Let the people you love know that you love them.
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Our 12 Month Transformation, Month Eight: Knowledge is Power!