People always ask us what is the “secret” to transformation. They want to know about the magic diet plan or exercise. While Chris and I are certainly partial to our diet and exercise approach to weight loss, a quick Google search will pull up hundreds of ways to effectively lose weight. I’ll tell it to you straight: Looking to transform through diet and exercise is like making your way through a house of mirrors. There’s confusion everywhere, but one path that is always true. And that path has nothing to do with diet and exercise.
https://youtu.be/EXd8BEurYfs
Once you shift your focus to see the hidden path, everything changes. Let me show you!
“I promise” is a pretty common phrase. But what does it actually mean? It simply means you’ll do (or not do) what you say you’ll do (or not do). When you make a promise to someone else—you give them your word—you know you would move mountains to keep that promise.
But what about the promises you make to yourself?
Are these promises any different than those you make to others?
They shouldn’t be.
In fact, the promises you make to yourself should be the most important you keep because you are so, so important and others depend on you to be your best self.
Let’s be honest: While you’d never think of breaking a promise made to others, you’re often not as good at keeping those you make to yourself. This is especially true with us women—you know I’m right! 😉
Why is this?
Besides the fact that we often put ourselves and our needs and goals on the bottom of the list, there are some other reasons. To put it simply, there are two types of promises: those you keep and those you don’t. The main reason promises fit into the latter category is because they’re too big—they’re inflated. Some examples:
- I will do thirty minutes of cardio every morning.
- I will eat five smaller meals every day.
- I will never eat pizza again.
These types of promises are doomed from the get-go. There is no way they can be kept.
Another example of inflated promises is when you make too many promises to yourself at once, like if you tried to keep all three of the above promises. At one time.
Get the picture? Something will always happen to derail these types of promises, and that’s life.
So how do you make promises you can keep 100% of the time?
It’s actually a pretty simple process, and it’s followed by all our peeps on Extreme Weight Loss. They make a single promise to themselves—a promise that’s virtually unbreakable—and they keep it. Then they make another promise, and they keep that one. And so on. Look at it this way:
- Each promise you make is a brick in the personal transformation you’re building.
- Each promise you keep is the mortar that holds these bricks together, so your transformation foundation gets stronger with each promise kept.
Yes, I hear you: “That sounds great, Heidi, but how do I make promises I can keep no matter what? I’ve got this, and this, and this that get in the way.”
Here’s the secret: Your first promise to yourself—the first brick in your transformation foundation—must be so small that it’s actually doable, even when life gets in the way, because it will. And that’s a promise!
Here’s an example:
- When people ask how much cardio to do to burn fat, my answer is, “Five minutes.” Whatever activity you choose, do it for five minutes. That’s all. This is a promise you can keep every single day. And if those five minutes lead to five minutes more, that’s even better! But the promise is for only five minutes. And it’s not about the cardio—it’s about keeping that promise you made to yourself. That’s the key!
Simply put, our peeps keep their promises. If they promise themselves they’ll do thirty minutes of cardio, they do thirty minutes…maybe more. They NEVER stop at twenty-nine minutes. Never. And if we try to pull them off that treadmill at 29 minutes, they’ll shove us out of the way and get right back on!
Here’s another helpful hint:
- Successful promise keepers say their promises and goals out loud, and they also write them down. Share yours with those who love and support you, and you’ll be surprised how quickly these supporters become your biggest fans who will move those mountains to help you keep the promises you’ve made to yourself. It’s awesome!
So what do you do when you break a promise to yourself? You don’t quit, that’s for sure. There’s definitely a learning curve when you’re perfecting your ability to keep promises to yourself, and our peeps face this same learning curve pretty much every day as they’re developing this promise-keeping habit. When they break a promise to themselves, we follow this process: Confess to someone about the broken promise, Reassess to ensure the promise you made is a SMART promise/goal, and Recommit to something more attainable. It works for them, and I know it will work for you too!
Remember: Each promise kept—each brick laid—builds a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence that is rock-solid and indestructible.
Make that first promise to yourself and lay that first brick in your own transformation foundation.
And do it today! 
Xoxo,
Heidi
Still wanting more? Don’t forget to join us on our next journey with the TRANSFORM app.
180 Responses
Thank you so much,I needed this today. I am always breaking the promises to myself, everyone else in my family come first. I need to do this for me I will make my first promise today and I will not break it, no matter how little support I get!
Thank you I will certainly try the promise thing. I just get so frustrated with myself. Im 38 with 3 teenagers, my husband and i just cant seem to get motivated to work out. We can start and be on a good track and one thing can derail us and its so hard to get back.
Greetings Heidi. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. Your Mr suggested that I read this post when he replied to my post on his FB page. I am over 50 yrs old and about 75 lbs overweight. I had lost about 150 lbs ten years ago, but gained some of it back after having 2 babies in my mid-40’s. I am disgusted with my weight and struggle to lose it. Those I have talked to about weight loss tell me only of the extreme difficulty I will have to lose a few pounds, but to not expect to be a more normal weight. My youngest child is disabled and I have to spend most of my time tending to his needs as he is a very high maintenance child due to his disability. Add in having a husband and another child and I never seem to have time for me. You are right. It is much easier to let ourselves become an afterthought….after everyone else. I’ve tried to find someone who will support my weight loss and it has been hard. I haven’t found anyone. It is making this even more difficult. Trying to lose weight without the support of those around you is one of the most depressing experiences I have dealt with. If others don’t believe that I can do it, then how can I believe in myself? It makes me wonder what they know that I don’t in this.
But, I am going to start a journal and give the promise thing a try.
You can do this! Promises really are a huge key to achieving any goal. 🙂
Paula,
Having others believe in you is not the key, rather you believing in your own ability to do this is! You can absolutely do this, but you have to do it for yourself, not for anyone else.
Lisa
Paula, I would love to support you as much as I can during this dietbet. I was trying to find you in the comments on the dietbet page but was unable to! I was wondering if you could send me your info on that page so that I can add you as a friend so that I can follow your posts and encourage you through out this dietbet. My name on the dietbet page is Kristina T so you know who I am!
Paula, I know you can do this with all your heart and effort, just remember if your trying to lose weight it’s for yourself not for other people, if you yourself want to lose weight you go ahead and do your thing! But if other people are telling to lose some people care and some don’t so don’t let the people who don’t care bring you down, but for one fact I believe in you and I believe that you can do it and anybody like you can do it! I wish I could help you in person, because I would love to, i love to help people to lose weight because I want to lose weight myself and I want to change people’s lives forever! You can do this NO MATTER WHAT! I know that for sure!
Lovelly, 13 grade 8
Wow, you have a great team going on here. I am always inspired by Chris and Powell, but also your team is great. Thank you for making a good change to this world.
OOPS, I meant to say Chris and Heidi. 🙂
At what point do you put yourself first and make those promises?
I have a husband that is legally blind, while he is able to work. It keeps us busy with me taking him to work and picking him back up. Our income does not support us enough for me to make the 45 min drive into town several times a day. So often times my daughter and I spend the 6 hours while he works in town. I have found that while my daughter loves spending time outside. She often times just doesn’t like doing anything that envolves excersising. There are other changlles like food, we either eat fast food or something that does not have to kept cold. Another is for us is money, with what little he makes we really can’t afford a gym or y membership.
At 100 pounds over weight for my 5’4″ frame and only 28, I know I have to loose the weight or it will eventually kill me. (As both of my parents died before they where 54. Both having massive heart attacks.) I want to loose the weight , but I have a hard time putting my self first. I always feel like I have other obligations. If not for my family life, it’s something else. I know that there is no excuse for not loosing the weight. I am they type of person that needs someone pushing me.
With all that being said, what are some great ways to eat healthy on a low income budget? How can I get my whole family involved in exceeding more? What are some great ways to get exercise without going to a gym or the y?
Thanks for your help!
Hi April: Check out Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program in their book, “Choose More, Lose More for Life.” The book contains their complete nutrition and exercise program, and it’s the same one they use on the show. It will teach you everything you need to know and do to achieve your own transformation! Learn about the nutrition basics here: https://heidipowell.net/2713/carb-cycling-101/. And the exercise program requires no gym membership and can be done pretty much anywhere. Your whole family can participate in this program!
How do you get to the point where you feel important enough to yourself to make and keep promises to yourself?
You are important!!! Make and keep that first small promise to yourself, and you’re already well on your way to achieving your goal. Maybe make a promise to remind yourself 10 times a day that you are important! You can do this! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this with us. I’ve been trying to figure out the one simple thing I’ve been overlooking that’s kept it a struggle for me in My Transformation. It’s “Making Small Promises….To Myself” This has just completely changed my whole out look on everything! Thanks a billion…and may you & everyone be blessed beyond measure.
Great Post!
I try to be an encourager to people and more deeply, my daughters. At my heaviest weight, in my late 40’s was 155. I’m 5’4.5″. My doctor then told me that I was border line for high blood pressure. She suggested that I watch my sodium in take (for years I did not watch all the sodium in the processed foods, even those that say they are healthy food) and try to lose some weight before she’d suggest medicine if I reached too high blood pressure. This was all I needed to hear!! I felt I was still too young to be on high blood pressure pills, as well my mother has it a little and being African American, we are at a higher risk.
I was so determine to do this for myself, something I was giving me! So I decided to act on it and I kept reminding myself “high blood pressure and medicine” and that motivated me. When you promise yourself something that is for your good, and you tell yourself “enough is enough” you’ll make those changes. I chipped away at it and made it part of my daily life, it is a life style for me now. I still check my pressure and I did lose the weight. I am at my high school weight 135 lbs. (I want to be 140 with that extra 5 lbs being muscle). My pressure is at times 120s to 130s, so not too bad at 50.5 years.
Thanks Heidi I needed this post today. I first read about ‘the promise’ in chris’s book. It made me cry to think about how easy it is for me to break promises to myself, but yet my word is my bond with everyone else in my life. I just weighed in for the challenge on diet bet and I came up just a couple pounds short and realize it is because I broke those promises I made to myself in the last couple weeks.
Time to start over (or continue) and keep some promises. With over 150lbs to lose it is such an overwhelming task to begin with.
Baby steps, start with small attainable efforts. As Madre Tereza said: Starting doing the necessary, then you will do the possible and soon you will realize you are doing the impossible.
As Heidi said, take the 5 mins daily, most of days you will end up with more, but you can do easily.
And a very important part to sucess, portion size. With those tools you will shed all those pounds.
Dan, I was completely filled with goosebumps reading your post. This only happenes when it pure divine inspiration for me. I feel that we were just given the true joys of life…in a few new promises to ourselves. Thanks for sharing. ~Never give up~
“I promise to exercise 20 minutes a day! Heidi and Chris thank you for inspiring me to shed 28 pounds and 31 inches with your guidance and direction. Let’s DO THIS….I promise is a huge secret!”, love Nancy Sustersic, The CEO of FUN
Yeah – this is awesome! 🙂