It Really Is All About the Promise

Powell_Declaring_Promises

People always ask us what is the “secret” to transformation. They want to know about the magic diet plan or exercise. While Chris and I are certainly partial to our diet and exercise approach to weight loss, a quick Google search will pull up hundreds of ways to effectively lose weight. I’ll tell it to you straight: Looking to transform through diet and exercise is like making your way through a house of mirrors. There’s confusion everywhere, but one path that is always true. And that path has nothing to do with diet and exercise.

https://youtu.be/EXd8BEurYfs

Once you shift your focus to see the hidden path, everything changes. Let me show you!

“I promise” is a pretty common phrase. But what does it actually mean? It simply means you’ll do (or not do) what you say you’ll do (or not do). When you make a promise to someone else—you give them your word—you know you would move mountains to keep that promise.

But what about the promises you make to yourself?

Are these promises any different than those you make to others?

They shouldn’t be.

In fact, the promises you make to yourself should be the most important you keep because you are so, so important and others depend on you to be your best self.

Let’s be honest: While you’d never think of breaking a promise made to others, you’re often not as good at keeping those you make to yourself. This is especially true with us women—you know I’m right! 😉

Why is this?

Besides the fact that we often put ourselves and our needs and goals on the bottom of the list, there are some other reasons. To put it simply, there are two types of promises: those you keep and those you don’t. The main reason promises fit into the latter category is because they’re too big—they’re inflated. Some examples:

  • I will do thirty minutes of cardio every morning.
  • I will eat five smaller meals every day.
  • I will never eat pizza again.

These types of promises are doomed from the get-go. There is no way they can be kept.

Another example of inflated promises is when you make too many promises to yourself at once, like if you tried to keep all three of the above promises. At one time.

Get the picture? Something will always happen to derail these types of promises, and that’s life.

So how do you make promises you can keep 100% of the time?

It’s actually a pretty simple process, and it’s followed by all our peeps on Extreme Weight Loss. They make a single promise to themselves—a promise that’s virtually unbreakable—and they keep it. Then they make another promise, and they keep that one. And so on. Look at it this way:

  • Each promise you make is a brick in the personal transformation you’re building.
  • Each promise you keep is the mortar that holds these bricks together, so your transformation foundation gets stronger with each promise kept.

Yes, I hear you: “That sounds great, Heidi, but how do I make promises I can keep no matter what? I’ve got this, and this, and this that get in the way.”

Here’s the secret: Your first promise to yourself—the first brick in your transformation foundation—must be so small that it’s actually doable, even when life gets in the way, because it will. And that’s a promise!

Here’s an example:

  • When people ask how much cardio to do to burn fat, my answer is, “Five minutes.” Whatever activity you choose, do it for five minutes. That’s all. This is a promise you can keep every single day. And if those five minutes lead to five minutes more, that’s even better! But the promise is for only five minutes. And it’s not about the cardio—it’s about keeping that promise you made to yourself. That’s the key!

Simply put, our peeps keep their promises. If they promise themselves they’ll do thirty minutes of cardio, they do thirty minutes…maybe more. They NEVER stop at twenty-nine minutes. Never. And if we try to pull them off that treadmill at 29 minutes, they’ll shove us out of the way and get right back on!

Here’s another helpful hint:

  • Successful promise keepers say their promises and goals out loud, and they also write them down. Share yours with those who love and support you, and you’ll be surprised how quickly these supporters become your biggest fans who will move those mountains to help you keep the promises you’ve made to yourself. It’s awesome!

So what do you do when you break a promise to yourself? You don’t quit, that’s for sure. There’s definitely a learning curve when you’re perfecting your ability to keep promises to yourself, and our peeps face this same learning curve pretty much every day as they’re developing this promise-keeping habit. When they break a promise to themselves, we follow this process: Confess to someone about the broken promise, Reassess to ensure the promise you made is a SMART promise/goal, and Recommit to something more attainable. It works for them, and I know it will work for you too!

Remember: Each promise kept—each brick laid—builds a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence that is rock-solid and indestructible.

Make that first promise to yourself and lay that first brick in your own transformation foundation.

And do it today! ☺

Xoxo,

Heidi

Still wanting more? Don’t forget to join us on our next journey with the TRANSFORM app.

180 Responses

  1. I love how you describe exercise/diet information as a house of mirrors. I couldn’t agree more. Kind of like parenting books. Conflicting advice and everyone has the ‘magic solution or product’ … for a price. I’ve been on my own transformation for 2 months now. I’ve lost 30-lbs (75-lbs to go) and it’s been all about promises, not just to myself but to my family as well. I promised myself on April 6th that in 365 days I’d be 90-100 lbs lighter and in the best shape of my life. I promised not to let my kids down by feeding them poorly, being bad role mode, missing out on their childhoods because I couldn’t keep up and to stop putting work before them and myself. I’m not sticking to any one particular eating or exercise plan right now but I put in 120-180 active minutes a day, track my steps with my Fitbit and log every bite I take. I’ve made small changes over time, no processed foods, limiting eating out, much more fruits and veg, green juice, more exercise, cutting way back on anything fatty and zero alcohol. It’s hard work and I watched myself slip now and again but I can see it for what it is, a blip caused by eating my emotions and not the end of the world. Recognising the problem is half the battle. I’ve had to shift my priorities and cut waaaaay back on working overtime. Make promises you can keep, really believe you can keep them and just do it! If a promise doesn’t work (like my getting up at 5am to do the gym while my kids slept) don’t dwell on not being able to keep it, change it to something more manageable. I feel so much better already and I’m not even halfway there. I ran around my local track 4 times without stopping this week, I could barely walk around it once in April. My average resting heart rate has dropped from 101 to 68! The feeling of accomplishment and health is so much better than the taste of any junk food! No non can do it for you. Believing in yourself is the key!!

  2. The promise. So what to do when you can’t keep the promise? I promise. And I fail. Perhaps my promises are too big? The eating is soooo out of control.

    1. Start with a very teeny tiny promise, and if you’re having a really hard time keeping your promises to yourself, make that promise one you know you can keep, then make the next one a little harder, and so on. And everyone falls (we never fail!). You just pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and try again. You can do this!

  3. First I want to say I love your show. Both you and Chris are changing America and paying it forward in such a wonderful healthy way. Thanks Heidi for you words of encouragement, I think I was on the first list of making too many promises I couldn’t keep and starting today am going to make a smaller first promise to change.
    God Bless and have a safe, healthy, happy life. Beautiful family.

  4. Hello,

    Im based in South Africa. My journey started when I was religious on watching youtube videos of extreme weightloss. I dont have access on the television but I follow on instagram. I managed to motivate myself to start the journey. I did pretty well for first 3mnths and fell of the wagon. I battle getting back up now but I think the promise idea works wonders. My journey started in Sept 2014 and hope to make a remarkeable change in 2015. Thank you for your posts. Stay blessed. Oneday I will host a fitness function and invite you. Its my dream

  5. I really like this approach. I promise to not beat myself up when I make mistakes – and get right back on track!

  6. I promise to love myself, I promise to make better food choices, i promise to work out everyday and I promise to be happy.

    Thanks Heidi for your words of wisdom

    D

  7. Thank you Heldi! You provided the best advise that I have ever gotten. I promise to do some form of cardio each day!

  8. I’, 68 and 45 lbs overweight with blood sugar edging up. I promise to walk every day for at least 10 min. I live on a steep mountain side so 5 min. will be downhill and 5 up hill. I believe this will be doable. Thank you for the encouragement 🙂

  9. I’m in that ‘I will do it’ zone, but haven’t really been in the zone and done it! Reading this has made me promise:
    ‘I will do 5 minutes each day of exercise’. Then it will be 10 and so on….thank you Heidi! I feel I’m heading back to the zone! Starting today!

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