Rev Up the Romance

So many people ask how Chris and I keep our spark with him traveling most of the year (75 % of the time to be exact). That is SUCH a great question and is one I often ask myself!

#HeidiPowell #Marriage #Romance #ChrisPowell
Me and my man!

One of the hardest parts of my marriage is being away from the person I love and respect more than any other grown human being (my kids are loved and respected very differently, of course).? It?s HARD knowing how great life is with my best friend in it, and then accepting that most of the time he won?t physically be around. It?s hard raising a family together with him sometimes thousands of miles away.? It?s hard showing him how much I love him, and for him, showing me how much he loves me when I am in Arizona and he is in Canada, New York, Florida, or Peru (to name a few).

But we do it?and doggone it, I think we do it pretty well, considering our circumstances. We have our rough days (mostly when he is away), but I sure do rest my head on my pillow every single night knowing that my best friend (who happens to be my husband) loves and respects me more than anyone else in the world, and I know he feels the same way. I also know that when he comes home after 2 or 3 weeks away, life always does resume as if he was never gone.

Our lives were meant to be lived together ? they were. He is the yin to my yang, my partner in crime, my soul mate and my best friend. Like any other couple though, we have to work at this. Here is one of our biggest secrets of all (that we even tattooed on our ring fingers, as a reminder) to long-lasting romance:

Remember we are BEST FRIENDS before husband and wife ? ALWAYS.

#HeidiPowell #Marriage #Romance #ChrisPowell
“My Best Friend” Tattooed on our Fingers!

Chris and I were attracted to each other for so many reasons. Physically, of course, but at the point in our lives that we met, neither of us was interested in physical attraction. His kindness, compassion, love, brilliance, and uniqueness are what drew me to him. I guess I had a trait or two that he liked as well (wink wink), so our friendship very quickly blossomed into one I had never experienced before. Within mere weeks, Chris and I were convinced we were meant to be life partners. We thought that maybe we were meant to marry different people, but we were CERTAIN that our friendship (built on trust and respect) was irreplaceable. We went on to realize that the mother/father of our future kids was right there in front of each of us the whole time, so we tied the knot!Having seen some failed marriages, and having experienced one myself, I knew that so easily there could come a destructive comfort with marriage. Some of you might know what I?m talking about: when we get so close to someone, it?s easy to make them our punching bag when we?re mad. It?s also easy to soon fall into the stereotypical ?nagging wife? and ?lazy husband? roles ? or vice-versa. You?re smiling because you KNOW it?s true! We begin to forget why we found our husband so endearing after a while, and TRUST me, they begin to forget what it was like when you didn?t nag them!

Solution (and this works like a charm for Chris and I!) – ALWAYS treat your man or woman like a best friend! Forget for just one second that you are spouses, and think of them like the best friend they used to be?and still are!

Next time your significant other leaves the toilet seat up or the lid off of the toothpaste, think ?how would I approach my best friend?? ?When they pass gas if front of you when THEY KNOW YOU HATE IT (I love you, Chris!) or, when they tell you the truth about how a certain dress makes you look (which can hurt sometimes!), just try-oh-try to respond, react, respect, and love them like you would your best friend.

There?s a good chance that once you start treating them like a best friend, they?ll return the favor, and the romance will follow and blossom!

10 Responses

  1. Glad I came across this article. First, I want to say what a beautiful couple you are. And I love what you do for people. Second, I am married and love my husband very much. I am always looking for ways to grow closer to him. And it’s funny that I read your article today, because he shared with me just this morning, how he wishes that we were much closer. And I do too.

    Thanks for your words of wisdom concerning marriage. Next year, my husband and I will have been married 6 years. So any words of wisdom I get, is always helpful.

  2. Hey Heidi my name is Brannah Shelbie Hemphill I’m a pastors daughter the middle of a lil sister and older sister I read about how y’alls marriage stays great I’m thinking of getting married in about 2 years but if it’s fine with you I’ve love to become friends with you and get emails and phone numbers and help me out how you do it. P.S Brannah Hemphill

  3. say something nice…I love this i just saw u on tv,and i love evrytin abt u guys.nw am confident and can rest my head cos my hosband stays far 4rm me and now i am ok with him and i belive that his not cheating on me. All thanks to you guys love you both

  4. This really helped me so much . I would not say ‘change’ my perspective on marriage because truthfully I had not really gained a perspective on it.,. I mean I always believed in it but jumped in not really knowing how to be married, now that I have been married its a relief reading this because I know I married my bff…. now I just have to work hard at applying this! I hate to say this but you are also right about the word lazy. My last semester of college at 22 I was 7-9 months pregnant, taking 22 hours, and working a full time internship, oh ya and married! So I kept telling myself, I am not lazy I am working my ass off ,making great grades and what not, but really I was forgetting to put up the dishes, make the bed (Which my husband loves) and do the little things I used to do. I got lazy at being a best friend, now I have to turn that around .

  5. Well said. I agree whole heartedly. My husband is a police officer and works a lot of late hours, on call and OT. Having a spouse away so much can be hard on a marriage and it can easily fall into the nagging spouse routine. Remembering to treat them with respect and friendship can be hard but it’s always reciprocated.

    1. Reading things like this make me sad and confused when. I know it ends in divorce. Do you mind sharing if you had any inkling back then that it could be where your relationship was heading, or is there anything you said here that in retrospect you’d change? Not to place any blame, simply to reflect and provide advice to others facing the many challenges of marriage.

  6. I know how it is having your best friend away for so long.My husband is living 8hours away for the next 2 years due to being in the military, while I raise the 2 kiddos. You bring up great ideas in this blog!

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