In speaking to a group of new friends, I had the opportunity to share my thoughts on “perfection”. It made me think of this post, one of the earliest posts I ever wrote for my blog, that really hit home with so many people when I shared it. Enjoy!
I am Perfect.
Perfectly imperfect, that is.
I use the word ?perfect ? a lot, and often times had people remind me that nothing is perfect. I totally disagree. I believe that everyone and every thing is perfect and beautiful in its imperfect state of being. Think about that for one second ? imagine that just maybe your imperfections actually make you perfect. Don?t you just love the freedom that thought gives you? Well, time to realize the reality of the thought and let go of our self-judgments and negative self-talk. It?s time to embrace our imperfections.
Now I?m not saying to throw caution to the wind and go indulge in a gallon of super chunky triple chocolate fudgy goo. I?m saying that it?s okay to mess up, and it?s okay to have faults. For those of you that don?t, I?m sorry. These faults, trials, imperfections and stumbles are our some of our greatest blessings ? they?re our ?springboards? to becoming the strongest person we can possibly be!
So why do we so often find ourselves “masking up” for the day before we go out in public? Why do we all feel the need to pretend to be something we are not? Why are we so scared of who we really are? Every time we put on that mask we feel beautiful and invincible. We put on a show of perfection for our friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances?everyone. We?re not true to them, but most importantly we are not true to ourselves. We are a fraud.
Ever feel that way? I sure have, and I still find myself there at times. I have to remind myself of a lesson I learned from my late father: true beauty comes from being honest and authentic.
You?re scared. I hear you. It?s not easy to peek out from behind that mask and share our difficulties and challenges with the world. But trust me, it?s worth it! The freedom that comes with being vulnerable, open, and real is unlike anything else. It?s the most liberating thing I?ve ever experienced, and without a doubt it has become one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal.
?Heidi, this is easy for you to say. You don?t have imperfections like I do.? FALSE! The camera is deceiving and shallow.
Behold, a Top 10 list of only some of my many imperfections:
- I have bunions.
- My nostrils flare to the size of a nickel when I laugh (those of you who know me know EXACTLY what I?m talking about!)
- My hair might be beautiful?but only because I clip in extensions (and that?s not the only enhanced part of me).
- I am a control freak (I?m working on it ? so darn hard though, and not sure I?m making much improvement).
- I have food issues too.
- One of my eyes is lazy when I smile and I am SO self-conscious about it.
- Chris is my soul mate and best friend, and so often we post pictures of us when things are fun and rosy, but we, like every other couple, have challenges and differences that we?re always working on.
- I am tempted 99.9% of the time to cheat during my workouts.
- No matter how hard I work on my abs, I will always have a belly button that could be mistaken for a nose.
- I don?t wake up looking camera-ready. ?Thank goodness for hair and makeup artists!
So many more, but there?s not enough room in this blog.
So, how do you find this place of peace with yourself as you are?
Rule 62 ? DON?T TAKE YOURSELF SO DAMN SERIOUSLY (thanks again, Dad).
Don?t be scared or embarrassed. You?re in a safe place and it?s time for a heart to heart conversation with the most important person in your life – YOU! Dig deep and allow yourself to see those imperfections. Try seeing the beauty in your flaws (yes, that bump on your nose makes you YOU!). Realize the lessons and strength that your imperfections have given you. And most importantly, don?t worry about what other people think. One of my favorite sayings is, ?Those who mind don?t matter and those who matter don?t mind.?
Now go be your perfectly imperfect self ?:-).
184 Responses
I had some breast work done and I used the Dr Max Powers Scar Serum on one breast and the scar treatment they gave me at the doctor’s office on the other breast. The Dr Max Powers Scar Serum worked so much better I wish i would have used it on both sides now!!! I didn’t use it on both sides because I didn’t know what the reaction would be on an semi open wound ( stiches). I am using it now however and it is working…but its taking much longer to fade the scar.
Saw this post and couldn’t help but think of this quote. 🙂 love you Heidi and all that you do!
?It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.??Theodore Roosevelt
How do I stop using food to soothe myself when I’m stressed out and depressed? I obsess over it. Please help:(
Hi Danelle: The key is to find other ways to soothe yourself. Take up a new hobby, go for a walk, read a bit of a book, anything that will help. And the key is to figure out what exactly is causing your stress and depression, and then you can get some ideas on how to hopefully make the situations/causes better. I hope that helps – we wish you the best! 🙂
This may be long, so bear with me. And I’m not sure who will actually be reading this, but I hope that somehow this message gets relayed back to Heidi in some way. Twitter has been a great way to interact with Heidi, but you can only say so much. And Facebook is too public of a forum for me to be that vulnerable.
Your blog posts are great. I love hearing about the show and trying out new foods. But it’s posts like this that hit home for me. Obviously this is an older post, so I probably seem like some sort of stalker. But I came across something mentioning being perfectly imperfect, and I went searching for more.
I have strived for perfection my entire life. And I have failed miserably. But you have told me that we never fail. We may fall, but we pick ourselves up and learn from that fall and begin again. Those words your wrote to me have greatly impacted my outlook on life.
This may be way too much information, but I feel as though this is a part of my process in my journey. In order to move on with my body transformation, I need to confront the mental and spiritual aspects. And I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this stuff. (Which why I’m writing on a blog to someone who I know I’ll never meet and who may never read this is beyond me at this point, but I’m kind of at a loss. I reached out to Rachel Paul on Instagram because I related to her story the most, but don’t want to continue to pursue that because 1. awkward and 2. I don’t want to be a burden). I so desperately strive to be perfect. The perfect student. The perfect child. The perfect athlete. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that I have only been hurting myself by doing so. I just received my masters. Employers are not going to be looking at how many A’s I received. But I busted my ass off, and in turn ignored my body and my health. I wanted to be the perfect child. But instead I became the problem child. I know now that this has to do with trauma that took place that I did not deal with or talk about, which negatively impacted my body and my health. I grew up playing soccer and softball, but was cut before making the varsity teams. That killed me, and again had a negative impact on my body and health.
You posted 10 imperfections. I could probably post 100. But I wanted to post 10 as well. 10 that I don’t normally share. 10 that I don’t want to confront. But 10 that, I’m hoping by confessing, will help me feel less alone. I mean, hopefully someone will read this…
1. I have major issues with food. It started at a very young age, and has only gotten worse. It’s not just skipping meals. There have been plenty of binges. And then there were times where I would binge and purge. And then there were times where I would work out for 4 hours a day. I would like to say that I’m in recovery. But I’m not. I don’t have a handle on this yet.
2. I have scars from cutting. The ones on my arms have been covered by tattoos. But the ones on my left thigh are a constant reminder of how much pain I was in awhile back.
3. I broke my purity pledge. Well really it was broken long before I made it when I was very young. But then I made a pledge. After I was taken advantage of again, that kind of went out the door.
4. Food dictates my life. I’m overweight. But not obese. I would never make it onto EWL. (And I know about the carb cycling) 🙂
5. I feel like I need to wear makeup to feel pretty.
6. I feel that because I’m overweight I’m ugly, and therefore do not deserve the love of a man. Or anyone for that matter.
7. I’m the black sheep of the family. And it’s not just me who thinks that. My parent’s friends have actually called me that to my face.
8. My nostrils flair, too. It’s embarrassing.
9. I shave my arms because in 8th grade I was pinned down by two boys in an empty classroom and they wrote “wolf” on my forehead with a sharpie marker because I had dark, thick arm hair.
10. My anxiety is so bad that sometimes I can’t leave my house.
I know you aren’t taking clients. And I know that you guys wish that you could help everyone. I don’t live in Arizona. I’m not asking you for anything. I’m fully aware that not only are you guys busy helping people transform their lives on the show, but you also have a family that is way more important than any of this. I’m just one person. But you reached me. You have encouraged me. I can’t tell you what I would give to just sit down with you for an hour and have coffee with you and just talk. You actually care about people. And our interaction has only been through twitter, but I felt like you actually cared about me.
I had a dream I got to work for the #PowellPack. It was pretty awesome. You guys make me want to be better. You make me want to give back and help others. And hopefully I can do that.
Thank you, Heidi.
Hi Ashley: Thank you so much for your very heartfelt and raw comment. I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to go through…and you are not alone! We hear from people on a regular basis who are also suffering through their own list of 10+ things, and who are also trying so hard to navigate life in spite of those things on their list. I really like what you said at the end of your comment, and Heidi would tell you that this is a huge key to helping you deal with your list: “You make me want to give back and help others. And hopefully I can do that.” This is something Heidi teaches her kids every day – she asks them what they’ve done that day to fill someone else’s bucket. I know I’m not Heidi, but I know she would tell you that you are perfectly imperfect, and that those things you’re dealing with give you the compassion to help others who are struggling with similar things. And she would also tell you that it is a definite sign of strength to reach out to others for help, so please don’t be afraid to do that when necessary. You are amazing! 🙂
Either I’m stupid and can’t find the reply button to your comment, or there is no way to do so. In any case…
Thank you. I don’t know who replied to my comment from last night, but I appreciate it more than you know. While it was nice to get those things off of my chest, it sucks not knowing who actually read it. It’s so easy to be completely honest with a stranger. But it is also hard knowing that, really, I’m still alone holding on to all of it. There’s something comforting about the fact that you, whoever you are, is a state over from me. You don’t know me. You can’t confront me on my struggles and hold me accountable. There is this wall between us. And it’s comfortable. But I don’t want to be comfortable anymore. I want accountability. I want someone to confront me. And I’ve long given up on the idea of meeting Heidi or having her as a mentor or trainer. It will never happen. But I don’t have anyone to talk to. I reached out on here because I can’t talk to anyone I know. This is safe to me. Which seems pathetic. You wrote to reach out if necessary. But I would totally feel like a burden if I continued to write about my problems and ask for help on here. Really I’m a nobody. Certain people know certain things about me. But no one, aside from you and anyone who read that (very lengthy) comment of mine, know all of those things about me. So whoever you are….you know more about me than my best friend. I’m trying to be okay with being perfectly imperfect. I really am. But that means I need to take away the facade and live authentically. And that scares me.
If I had someone to talk to, I would bother them with this and not you. I’m sorry to take up your time. All of this was really just to say thank you for what you wrote and for noticing me.
It’s so refreshing to hear such a beautiful “perfect” in society woman has insecurities. I guess no matter how fat/thin, ugly/gorgeous…every woman has some insecurities about something. It’s taken me a very long time to understand that and I still honestly struggle with that.
By the way…I think you look even more “perfect” WITHOUT the makeup!
I really loved reading this…..I have, for my whole life been “imperfect”. I have a congenital back condition have had a life of pain, and started my journey with back surgeries at the age of 19. I am now 41 and have had 9 major back surgeries, with unfortunate results. Chronic pain is a part of my daily life and always will be. I know if I were to let myself have a really bad day, or give in to my urges to just give up, my life would probably end….Every day is a battle, every day is a trial. I agree that we are perfectly imperfect, and I know that we all have our trials…..my back problems and my weight are two things that have held me back from truly living for the last 10 years. I can’t find a trainer that will work with me….no one dares. I can’t go to physical therapy due to the cost. My surgeries have taken enough from my family that spending hundreds of dollars a month to try physical therapy isn’t really an option. I haven’t seen you and Chris work with anyone with a chronic pain condition…..is that where the line can’t be crossed? I guess as time goes on, and I miss more and more of my family’s activities I feel more and more helpless. I love the message that everyone is perfectly imperfect…I would just like to be able to embrace my imperfection instead of being held back because of them. I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for encouragement. I guess what I would love to hear is that there is something I can do to improve my quality of life and improve my ability to rejoin my family in an active life. This might have been the wrong outlet for this and I honestly didn’t mean to turn this into a poor me…..I love your message, and I thank you for your time. Thank you!!!
Hi Cindy: Thank you so much for your post. You have definitely been through a lot – I can’t imagine how frustrating this all must be for you! You mentioned your weight in your post. While it is best, with your health issues, to work with your healthcare provider on any exercise program since they know your exact issues and can work with you on a one-on-one basis (we want to keep you safe while you’re working to reach your goals!), diet is a huge part of weight loss. You might be interested in looking at the nutrition part of Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program – it’s awesome, and it works! You can learn about the basics here: https://heidipowell.net/2713. And please discuss this nutrition program with your healthcare team first, and then follow any modifications they recommend, if any. We truly wish you the best!
Hi! I have horrible bunions and had surgery on one of my feet. The doctor realized my bones are too brittle to put the screw in as he originally planned. My feet are full of arthritis too. Since surgery, we’ve discovered I have osteoporosis. My feet hurt with every step. Besides Reebok’s, what shoes are comfortable for you? Also, do high heels not hurt? I can’t even point my toes, nor can I stand on my toes, it’s too painful. I never wore heels often, but miss not being able to wear them at all. Great article, thank you!
I am way late on finding this post, but I’m glad I found it 🙂
Trying hard to accept my imperfections, maybe you have some advise on how to handle friends and family who use a persons imperfections as their ammo for tearing them down? It’s really hard when the people that you should be able to trust the most are the ones who destroy your self esteem the most. I have been teased since I was a child for my ugly feet, being under weight, or not having big enough boobs ( Embarrassing to admit that one!) Low self esteem has killed my love for exercise, and I have not had workout routine in almost a year 🙁
But after reading your thoughts on being perfectly imperfect, I am sitting on my rowing machine writing this after finishing up 20 minutes on it! I can feel my motivation coming back after ready your blog…. Thanks Heidi! 🙂
This is an awesome–and life-changing–post, and I know Heidi is so passionate about this topic. When others try and tear you down, remember that what you think about you is the most important thing, and they’re doing this to you because they are uncomfortable about something going on in their own lives. You got this!
I loved reading this post and love your perfectly imperfect campaign! As someone who also has bunions, I would love to know what kind of shoes you have found that don’t make your feet hurt. I have found I need shoes with a wide toe box but struggle to find those. Any advice?
Heidi loves Reebok shoes. You can see all her favorites here: Reebok.com/Heidi.Powell.
Hi, I had bunions and they were really painful so I got surgery. Sometimes bunions aren’t just something that might be “ugly” but a medical condition that can be corrected with surgery 🙂
OH WOW! Heidi, I have a whole new level of love for you and Chris. I’ve been watching EWL for years but only really recently got hooked on the #PowellPack!
I have huge insecurities and had/still do battle with eating disorders so I find you so relatable. When I saw the part about your perfectly imperfect feet! I’m like WOW! I love this woman