People always ask us what is the “secret” to transformation. They want to know about the magic diet plan or exercise. While Chris and I are certainly partial to our diet and exercise approach to weight loss, a quick Google search will pull up hundreds of ways to effectively lose weight. I’ll tell it to you straight: Looking to transform through diet and exercise is like making your way through a house of mirrors. There’s confusion everywhere, but one path that is always true. And that path has nothing to do with diet and exercise.
https://youtu.be/EXd8BEurYfs
Once you shift your focus to see the hidden path, everything changes. Let me show you!
“I promise” is a pretty common phrase. But what does it actually mean? It simply means you’ll do (or not do) what you say you’ll do (or not do). When you make a promise to someone else—you give them your word—you know you would move mountains to keep that promise.
But what about the promises you make to yourself?
Are these promises any different than those you make to others?
They shouldn’t be.
In fact, the promises you make to yourself should be the most important you keep because you are so, so important and others depend on you to be your best self.
Let’s be honest: While you’d never think of breaking a promise made to others, you’re often not as good at keeping those you make to yourself. This is especially true with us women—you know I’m right! 😉
Why is this?
Besides the fact that we often put ourselves and our needs and goals on the bottom of the list, there are some other reasons. To put it simply, there are two types of promises: those you keep and those you don’t. The main reason promises fit into the latter category is because they’re too big—they’re inflated. Some examples:
- I will do thirty minutes of cardio every morning.
- I will eat five smaller meals every day.
- I will never eat pizza again.
These types of promises are doomed from the get-go. There is no way they can be kept.
Another example of inflated promises is when you make too many promises to yourself at once, like if you tried to keep all three of the above promises. At one time.
Get the picture? Something will always happen to derail these types of promises, and that’s life.
So how do you make promises you can keep 100% of the time?
It’s actually a pretty simple process, and it’s followed by all our peeps on Extreme Weight Loss. They make a single promise to themselves—a promise that’s virtually unbreakable—and they keep it. Then they make another promise, and they keep that one. And so on. Look at it this way:
- Each promise you make is a brick in the personal transformation you’re building.
- Each promise you keep is the mortar that holds these bricks together, so your transformation foundation gets stronger with each promise kept.
Yes, I hear you: “That sounds great, Heidi, but how do I make promises I can keep no matter what? I’ve got this, and this, and this that get in the way.”
Here’s the secret: Your first promise to yourself—the first brick in your transformation foundation—must be so small that it’s actually doable, even when life gets in the way, because it will. And that’s a promise!
Here’s an example:
- When people ask how much cardio to do to burn fat, my answer is, “Five minutes.” Whatever activity you choose, do it for five minutes. That’s all. This is a promise you can keep every single day. And if those five minutes lead to five minutes more, that’s even better! But the promise is for only five minutes. And it’s not about the cardio—it’s about keeping that promise you made to yourself. That’s the key!
Simply put, our peeps keep their promises. If they promise themselves they’ll do thirty minutes of cardio, they do thirty minutes…maybe more. They NEVER stop at twenty-nine minutes. Never. And if we try to pull them off that treadmill at 29 minutes, they’ll shove us out of the way and get right back on!
Here’s another helpful hint:
- Successful promise keepers say their promises and goals out loud, and they also write them down. Share yours with those who love and support you, and you’ll be surprised how quickly these supporters become your biggest fans who will move those mountains to help you keep the promises you’ve made to yourself. It’s awesome!
So what do you do when you break a promise to yourself? You don’t quit, that’s for sure. There’s definitely a learning curve when you’re perfecting your ability to keep promises to yourself, and our peeps face this same learning curve pretty much every day as they’re developing this promise-keeping habit. When they break a promise to themselves, we follow this process: Confess to someone about the broken promise, Reassess to ensure the promise you made is a SMART promise/goal, and Recommit to something more attainable. It works for them, and I know it will work for you too!
Remember: Each promise kept—each brick laid—builds a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence that is rock-solid and indestructible.
Make that first promise to yourself and lay that first brick in your own transformation foundation.
And do it today! 
Xoxo,
Heidi
Still wanting more? Don’t forget to join us on our next journey with the TRANSFORM app.
180 Responses
I believe this whole heartedly!! Thanks for the reminder… Making a new promise today;)
My journey began when my trainer discussed competing in my first physique competition with me. I committed to it believing I would compete in 2015. A few short months ago he told me I looked so great I was competing this year! A full year ahead of schedule. As of this week I am 11 weeks out. I have worked hard for a year on this.
My committment to myself and to this promise are unwavering: I promise I will compete. I promise I will win my division. Whatever it takes.
One more thing: When I step on that stage I’ll be 53 years old.
It is never too late to make a promise to yourself and transform your life. My Dr. told me at my physical earlier this year that I looked like someone in their 20s. During the summer I walk around my subdivision shirtless when I walk my dog. A man stopped me one day to say I needed to put a shirt on because I was making everyone else look bad! When he asked my age and I told him his jaw dropped. No one can ever take those moments of pride and accomplishment away from me.
This journey has been one of the most difficult I’ve ever been on, but at the same time the most rewarding. It has changed my body, my mind, my heart, and my soul. There is nothing I’m not capable of when I put my mind to it.
I watch EWL every week (via DVR, I train 6 days a week). It always makes me emotional when I see the “light come on” and they finally “get it”. That you can do anything, that you do deserve it, that you are worth it. I’ve had that epiphany myself and I know how powerful it can be after so many years of guilt, lack of self-confidence and respect.
Heidi, you and Chris are amazing people. I for one am a true admirer of you both. Your caring and concern for the success of complete strangers who write in for your help is what this world needs more of. If you ever decide to expand and create a “Powell Army” to get the great work you do out to a larger audience I’d sign up in a second to serve.
Bless you both and the work you do.
The article definitely gave me a better insight on how to keep a promise to myself. I am one of those that say, “I promise to go to the Y and do the treadmill for 30 minutes and nautilus for 15 minutes” I joined over two years ago, and only been maybe the 1st 2 months. All that money, but worse, all the weight I kept on. I lost 185 # about 3 years ago and put it all back on because of lack of motivation and lifestyle changes. Now I am more depressed than ever, and no ambition to live life. After reading this, I will try just one promise- 5 minutes, 2 times daily, either walking outside or on the treadmill for 2 weeks. Just to prove to myself I can do it.
I really enjoy your texts and the great attitude what you two have every day. Unfortunately we have seen only one season EWL here in Finland but hopefully we’ll see other seasons in near future. I am trying to learn from your writings and having still 17kg to go down before hit my goal.
Br, your big fan far away in North Europe, Finland
Thank you for such an amazing article! I have never thought about the weight loss in this perspective. I am going to apply it right now 🙂
Many greetings from Europe (Prague) 🙂
On June 16th, I made a promise to myself. The promise was that I was going to make small steps, baby steps, to become the person that I want to be. I already knew what I didn’t want (I’d been lving it) and NOW it was time to LIVE what I DO want.
In that time, I have had a career change, I have lost 26 lbs, I am now vegetarian/mostly vegan, and I am currently getting ready to do my first 5K.
I am taking it seriously because this is the only life I get and its time for me.
Thank you for always reinforcing my conviction to my promise!
This is awesome – congratulations! 🙂
You both are simply amazing. I love reading your blogs! Thank you both for making a difference in so many peoples lives. Your both so inspirational in so many ways.
First, I love you and Chris and you spoke some serious truth. Yes weight loss pure and simple is making a promise to change a bad behavior. I know I make promises to me all the time sometimes small. Those small promises lead to big changes. I know this truth myself 7 years ago I made a promise to me and was able to lose my weight. I still maintain those small band of promises. It does work! Get it Heidi!
Just wanted to thank you and Chris for being the people you are and sharing the amazing transformations of regular folks who want to change their lives. I have been overweight forever (24 years or so really) and last February it occurred to me that if others can do this so can I! I am six months in, doing weight watchers and exercising twice daily and am down fifty pounds. Tuesday night is always a great workout while my partner and I watch EWL! She is down fifty five too! Waving at you from Chandler, thank you guys!!
Congratulations on losing those 50 pounds – that’s awesome! 🙂
Hey Andee, sounds like you and your partner are both doing great……I notice you’re from Chandler…..I live in Chandler as well. It was nice to see someone posting so near to me! I just finished Chris and Heidi’s Diet Bet…….lost almost 11 lbs in the last 4 wks. Not much but I already feel better…….hoping I can keep up with the losing. Good luck to you both! =)
I really needed to hear this! I have been on such a internal guilt trip roller coaster trying to balance school, being the most amazing mom & wife I can & studying for DATs (MCAT for dentistry), meanwhile setting way too many goals! Today is day one! I close to never break a promise to others when ever physically possible. …today, I will love myself how I love others! Thank you! God bless you!
-Corie