People always ask us what is the “secret” to transformation. They want to know about the magic diet plan or exercise. While Chris and I are certainly partial to our diet and exercise approach to weight loss, a quick Google search will pull up hundreds of ways to effectively lose weight. I’ll tell it to you straight: Looking to transform through diet and exercise is like making your way through a house of mirrors. There’s confusion everywhere, but one path that is always true. And that path has nothing to do with diet and exercise.
https://youtu.be/EXd8BEurYfs
Once you shift your focus to see the hidden path, everything changes. Let me show you!
“I promise” is a pretty common phrase. But what does it actually mean? It simply means you’ll do (or not do) what you say you’ll do (or not do). When you make a promise to someone else—you give them your word—you know you would move mountains to keep that promise.
But what about the promises you make to yourself?
Are these promises any different than those you make to others?
They shouldn’t be.
In fact, the promises you make to yourself should be the most important you keep because you are so, so important and others depend on you to be your best self.
Let’s be honest: While you’d never think of breaking a promise made to others, you’re often not as good at keeping those you make to yourself. This is especially true with us women—you know I’m right! 😉
Why is this?
Besides the fact that we often put ourselves and our needs and goals on the bottom of the list, there are some other reasons. To put it simply, there are two types of promises: those you keep and those you don’t. The main reason promises fit into the latter category is because they’re too big—they’re inflated. Some examples:
- I will do thirty minutes of cardio every morning.
- I will eat five smaller meals every day.
- I will never eat pizza again.
These types of promises are doomed from the get-go. There is no way they can be kept.
Another example of inflated promises is when you make too many promises to yourself at once, like if you tried to keep all three of the above promises. At one time.
Get the picture? Something will always happen to derail these types of promises, and that’s life.
So how do you make promises you can keep 100% of the time?
It’s actually a pretty simple process, and it’s followed by all our peeps on Extreme Weight Loss. They make a single promise to themselves—a promise that’s virtually unbreakable—and they keep it. Then they make another promise, and they keep that one. And so on. Look at it this way:
- Each promise you make is a brick in the personal transformation you’re building.
- Each promise you keep is the mortar that holds these bricks together, so your transformation foundation gets stronger with each promise kept.
Yes, I hear you: “That sounds great, Heidi, but how do I make promises I can keep no matter what? I’ve got this, and this, and this that get in the way.”
Here’s the secret: Your first promise to yourself—the first brick in your transformation foundation—must be so small that it’s actually doable, even when life gets in the way, because it will. And that’s a promise!
Here’s an example:
- When people ask how much cardio to do to burn fat, my answer is, “Five minutes.” Whatever activity you choose, do it for five minutes. That’s all. This is a promise you can keep every single day. And if those five minutes lead to five minutes more, that’s even better! But the promise is for only five minutes. And it’s not about the cardio—it’s about keeping that promise you made to yourself. That’s the key!
Simply put, our peeps keep their promises. If they promise themselves they’ll do thirty minutes of cardio, they do thirty minutes…maybe more. They NEVER stop at twenty-nine minutes. Never. And if we try to pull them off that treadmill at 29 minutes, they’ll shove us out of the way and get right back on!
Here’s another helpful hint:
- Successful promise keepers say their promises and goals out loud, and they also write them down. Share yours with those who love and support you, and you’ll be surprised how quickly these supporters become your biggest fans who will move those mountains to help you keep the promises you’ve made to yourself. It’s awesome!
So what do you do when you break a promise to yourself? You don’t quit, that’s for sure. There’s definitely a learning curve when you’re perfecting your ability to keep promises to yourself, and our peeps face this same learning curve pretty much every day as they’re developing this promise-keeping habit. When they break a promise to themselves, we follow this process: Confess to someone about the broken promise, Reassess to ensure the promise you made is a SMART promise/goal, and Recommit to something more attainable. It works for them, and I know it will work for you too!
Remember: Each promise kept—each brick laid—builds a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence that is rock-solid and indestructible.
Make that first promise to yourself and lay that first brick in your own transformation foundation.
And do it today! 
Xoxo,
Heidi
Still wanting more? Don’t forget to join us on our next journey with the TRANSFORM app.
180 Responses
I agree with you Heidi, last night was the perfect example of what you mean about just keeping one promise to yourself.
Last night, it took forever to get home. By the time I got home I was drained and tired.. and by 7:30 I was about to call it a night and just lay in bed. But then I said to myself.. If I want to go to bed, I owe my body at least 30 Burpees. What was great about that was once I moved to the workout room in my house, on top of the burpees, I kicked the bag a few, and then 15 minutes later I had just completed an intense kickboxing workout.. when my plan was just to go to bed that night.
So yes, one promise is right, because then you find yourself thrown into a workout you wanted to do all along but just needed a grappling hook to climb out off your couch 😉
Thanks for the words of wisdom!
Thanks Heidi, I have been struggling a lot this year but I am jumping back into making life changes and creating a life I want to live. What you shared about promise keepers really struck home. Thinking of things the way you explained them gave me the know how and inspiration to begin building a strong foundation and I am starting right now!…so thank you so much for sharing this info.
This is just so perfect Heidi. It is just what I need to hear tonight. I have lost 230 pounds and the way I have been successful is making those small “keepable” promises. Yes I struggle and fall with exercise and food choices but the difference this time is that I get back to it and not beat myself up for falling. Falling and stumbling is part of the rebuilding process and it is helping me learn ways to battle harder. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this encouragement. In the craziness of the weight loss jungle, I have been so overwhelmed by the complexity of information as well as the contradictory information out there. I have struggled for the last 16 years with my weight (I am now 53)… gradually gaining more and more. The doctor’s say that I am insulin resistant. One doctor recommends one type of diet and another says something different. Then they send me to a “class” with a nutritionist who has had no experience with weight loss and who offers yet another different eating plan! This along with a rebuilt ACL and LCL in my right leg from an old injury makes weight loss a challenge… to say the least! My husband and I are on a minimal income so the gym is not an option. So again thank you for the encouragement and hope you keep more of it coming. I can use all the help you can give! God bless!
Heidi,
This was so well worded. I have been saying the same thing in slightly different words since I began my weight loss journey in 2012. I have lost 110 pounds, with 45 more to go. You and Chris inspire and challenge me daily! Once I addressed my FEAR of what would happen if I changed, making and keeping those promises to myself got a whole lot easier.
Thank you, for showing me it can be done!
Oh guys i really love you both! I never manage to loss weight and never keep a promise to myself 🙁 that was killing me and today i was wondering WHY???? Why you never keep a promise!!! What’s wrong with you??? And lived all the time in a depression 🙁 Now i know why! I always said “you are going to loose 40kg in 6 months and workout every day for 1 hour” never keep the promise!!!! Thank you so much for everything… Believe me you help me a lot and now i know. You give me straighth guys!! I love you xxxx
Thank you for the inspiration every week! I’ve lost 46lbs and hired a personal trainer already for six months. Have even worked out in 112degree AZ heat. Dropped so far from Big52sbto now between 44-46 waist. Dropped from big 3x shirts to regular 2x. Bulking up. Want to run my first 5k. Cholesterol at normal and triglycerides too. 20yrs ago they were 660/3600 at one point. By our program is a weekly inspiration
Wow…..I never feel like I am important enough to take the time for ME. Reading this I believe I am at least worth a 5 min promise. Thank you for the inspiration!
Heidi, I hadn’t really given much thought about how I lost over 210 lbs without surgical intervention. But you’re right! I promised myself, my family and Drs that I would lose it. It took me two years of eating well and walking and resistance training but I made it. I went from a couch potato to a person who thrives on exercise. I’m addicted! I wish I could have the skin removal surgery but am unable to do so. But I am blessed to be healthy.
Thanks for sharing. I love to do boxing and singing and want to continue to dot this on a regular base.
Music and setting goals helps me a lot and love and respect are the right answers..
Peace to you all. 🙂