People always ask us what is the “secret” to transformation. They want to know about the magic diet plan or exercise. While Chris and I are certainly partial to our diet and exercise approach to weight loss, a quick Google search will pull up hundreds of ways to effectively lose weight. I’ll tell it to you straight: Looking to transform through diet and exercise is like making your way through a house of mirrors. There’s confusion everywhere, but one path that is always true. And that path has nothing to do with diet and exercise.
https://youtu.be/EXd8BEurYfs
Once you shift your focus to see the hidden path, everything changes. Let me show you!
“I promise” is a pretty common phrase. But what does it actually mean? It simply means you’ll do (or not do) what you say you’ll do (or not do). When you make a promise to someone else—you give them your word—you know you would move mountains to keep that promise.
But what about the promises you make to yourself?
Are these promises any different than those you make to others?
They shouldn’t be.
In fact, the promises you make to yourself should be the most important you keep because you are so, so important and others depend on you to be your best self.
Let’s be honest: While you’d never think of breaking a promise made to others, you’re often not as good at keeping those you make to yourself. This is especially true with us women—you know I’m right! 😉
Why is this?
Besides the fact that we often put ourselves and our needs and goals on the bottom of the list, there are some other reasons. To put it simply, there are two types of promises: those you keep and those you don’t. The main reason promises fit into the latter category is because they’re too big—they’re inflated. Some examples:
- I will do thirty minutes of cardio every morning.
- I will eat five smaller meals every day.
- I will never eat pizza again.
These types of promises are doomed from the get-go. There is no way they can be kept.
Another example of inflated promises is when you make too many promises to yourself at once, like if you tried to keep all three of the above promises. At one time.
Get the picture? Something will always happen to derail these types of promises, and that’s life.
So how do you make promises you can keep 100% of the time?
It’s actually a pretty simple process, and it’s followed by all our peeps on Extreme Weight Loss. They make a single promise to themselves—a promise that’s virtually unbreakable—and they keep it. Then they make another promise, and they keep that one. And so on. Look at it this way:
- Each promise you make is a brick in the personal transformation you’re building.
- Each promise you keep is the mortar that holds these bricks together, so your transformation foundation gets stronger with each promise kept.
Yes, I hear you: “That sounds great, Heidi, but how do I make promises I can keep no matter what? I’ve got this, and this, and this that get in the way.”
Here’s the secret: Your first promise to yourself—the first brick in your transformation foundation—must be so small that it’s actually doable, even when life gets in the way, because it will. And that’s a promise!
Here’s an example:
- When people ask how much cardio to do to burn fat, my answer is, “Five minutes.” Whatever activity you choose, do it for five minutes. That’s all. This is a promise you can keep every single day. And if those five minutes lead to five minutes more, that’s even better! But the promise is for only five minutes. And it’s not about the cardio—it’s about keeping that promise you made to yourself. That’s the key!
Simply put, our peeps keep their promises. If they promise themselves they’ll do thirty minutes of cardio, they do thirty minutes…maybe more. They NEVER stop at twenty-nine minutes. Never. And if we try to pull them off that treadmill at 29 minutes, they’ll shove us out of the way and get right back on!
Here’s another helpful hint:
- Successful promise keepers say their promises and goals out loud, and they also write them down. Share yours with those who love and support you, and you’ll be surprised how quickly these supporters become your biggest fans who will move those mountains to help you keep the promises you’ve made to yourself. It’s awesome!
So what do you do when you break a promise to yourself? You don’t quit, that’s for sure. There’s definitely a learning curve when you’re perfecting your ability to keep promises to yourself, and our peeps face this same learning curve pretty much every day as they’re developing this promise-keeping habit. When they break a promise to themselves, we follow this process: Confess to someone about the broken promise, Reassess to ensure the promise you made is a SMART promise/goal, and Recommit to something more attainable. It works for them, and I know it will work for you too!
Remember: Each promise kept—each brick laid—builds a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence that is rock-solid and indestructible.
Make that first promise to yourself and lay that first brick in your own transformation foundation.
And do it today! 
Xoxo,
Heidi
Still wanting more? Don’t forget to join us on our next journey with the TRANSFORM app.
180 Responses
hi Heidi my name is katelyn. I am 15 years old there is some things that i struggle with is belly fat. Im 5’4 and weight is 128.0lb. I am not the shinnies person ever i do have belly fat every on me my dream has always been to be on your show and get my body back and have muscle like you but i dont know where to start and i dont know anything about fitness, I wish that you can help me and tell me how you got your body like how it is and what kind of foods you ate and workouts you do so that i can maybe get the body i have i always wanted. i hope you will help me and answer me. help need!!
Hi Katelyn: As far as exercised is concerned, I would suggest you work with a Certified Personal Trainer who can teach you all about strength training and how to do it correctly. It’s pretty easy to injure yourself if you’re not quite sure what you’re doing, so being taught the right way to do things is something you can use throughout your life. Many gyms offer a free session, so you might look into that, or maybe one of your school’s PE teachers could help you too. As far as cardio goes, Chris and Heidi recommend up to an hour a day, Monday-Friday, and you can do whatever activities you like that help you get some movement in. As far as diet goes, make sure your meals are full of proteins, healthy fats, and carbs (fruits, veggies, legumes, whole grains), and it’s also important that you drink enough water. And please discuss your concerns with your parents or an adult you trust. You might want to discuss all of these issues with your healthcare team, and then follow their recommendations for you. When you develop all of these healthy habits, any extra fat should go away, and you’ll have awesome habits that will benefit you throughout your life!
Hi Heidi! I love to watch your show! I’d love to be on it, but would never be able to bring myself to do something like that. My question for you is: i really want to lose weight. I’ve tried so many times. I lose weight and then life happens and I gain it back. My husband says he wants to lose also, but works a crazy work schedule and is tired a lot. I end up having to motivate him, but I NEED motivation! How do I get him to help motivate me? Or how do I learn to motivate myself? I’m having such a hard time with this.
Hi Melissa: Check out Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program in their book, “Choose More, Lose More for Life.” The book contains their complete nutrition and exercise program, and it’s the same one they use on the show. It will teach you both everything you need to know and do (including some awesome motivational tips and advice) to achieve your own transformations! Learn all about it here: https://heidipowell.net/9060/how-to-begin-your-transformation-journey-step-by-step/. You both can do this!
Hi Heidi,
Thank you for the very powerful words you wrote up there! Can’t wait to get started!
What am I doing wrong?? The past three weeks I decided to start my weight loss journey and have not seen any results. I am eating 1200 calories a day and I’m working out 45 minutes in the morning and in the evening. I’m burning between 700 to 1000 calories a day. Why is the scale not budging??? I’m ready to give up because it just doesn’t make sense to me.
Thanks for your time!
Hi Vicky: It sounds like you’re on the right track! In Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program in their book, “Choose More, Lose More for Life,” women eat 1200 calories on low carb days and 1500 calories on high carb days. Maybe you simply need to swith things up a bit. Also, are you drinking enough water? Chris and Heidi recommend drinking 1/2 your weight in ounces a day (200 lbs = 100 ounces, for example). Adequate hydration is a key to losing weight health, in general, so that might be something that could help. If you’re interested in checking out the nutrition part of Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program, go here: heidipowell.net/2713/carb-cycling-101/. And please don’t give up! You’re making awesome changes, and sometimes it takes our bodies a bit of time to adjust to a new way of doing things. One other thing: How do you know for sure how many calories you’re burning/consuming? Are you using a fitness app/tracker?
Your body is storing all the food you eat!! You are not eating enough calories! Your body is probably in starvation mode. Try eating 1500-2000 at least calories a day. Lean protein.. Chicken and ground lean turkey, healthy carbs like brown rice and sweet potatoes.. And lots of veggies! Lift heavy weight! And less cardio 😉 hope this helps!!
Any tips on keeping up the energy after working and getting the kids taken care of at night I feel defeated and beat.
That can be a tough one, for sure. Are you eating regularly throughout the day? What does your diet consist of? How’s your water consumption? How much sleep are you getting? Are you getting in any exercise? Although it sounds like it would make you even more tired, exercise can give you extra energy throughout your day. These are all things to check out, and hopefully you can find some things – even small things – you can do to help give you more energy.
First off I just want to say that I follow you and Chris very close you give me so much courage and inspiration, however I am running into some problems. After I and my son I lost all my weight I got pregnant with my daughter and was in much better shape but after my daughter I gained weight and now it seems I can’t get it to go away. Please give me any advice you have I feel like after I get off work and get the kids taken care of for the night I have energy left please heidi help me.
Hi Jessica: I just answered your other post – they show up last first. 😉 Being a busy mom can make things tough! In addition to my first response, check out Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program in their book, “Choose More, Lose More for Life.” The book contains their complete nutrition and exercise program, and it’s the same one they use on the show. It will teach you everything you need to know and do to achieve your own transformation, and it can work no matter how many pounds you want to lose! Learn all about it here: https://heidipowell.net/9060/how-to-begin-your-transformation-journey-step-by-step/. You can totally do this! It’s all about taking those baby steps and making small changes. And keeping those small, simple promises you make to yourself.
I love everything you have said my problem is motivation I start off like crazy but when I lose 5lbs i feel I can reward myself then gain those 5lbs back and get disgusted with myself I come from a family history of obesity my mom and grandmother on my moms side I am 40lbs overweight and I have high blood pressure and panic attacks my daughter is 60lbs overweight and only 25 I know we don’t eat properly we are active but we love our junk food my husband loses weight like crazy I also have a 5 year old son and granddaughter that I help watch and I am turning 50 in October I would love by my bday to be at my goal weight of 125 I am 5 ft 4″ can you give me some advise besides eliminate junk food and exercise more I already know that is the basics.
thank you very much
Yes, I have some tools to share with you. First of all, make a promise to yourself that your reward will not be food-related, since you know that food-related rewards don’t work for you. As for losing weight, check out Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program in their book, “Choose More, Lose More for Life.” The book contains their complete nutrition and exercise program, and it’s the same one they use on the show. It will teach you everything you need to know and do to achieve your own transformation! Learn all about it here: https://heidipowell.net/9060/how-to-begin-your-transformation-journey-step-by-step/. And please discuss this, or any nutrition and exercise program with your healthcare team first, and then follow their recommendations. You can totally do this!
Along with doing the 9 minute missions and shredders should I also lifting weights? I own 3, 5, and 10lb dumbbells.
The 9-Minute Missions are actually considered strength training exercises, but you can add in additional strength training exercises if you’d like to. Just make sure you don’t work out the same group of muscles two days in a row.
Thank you so much for this post! I’m in tears! I was always a health and fitness nut until I began taking a medication that contributed to a pretty hefty weight gain. It’s so hard, my fianc?e is a trainer and I feel so embarrased about how I look. I’ve been trying to lose the weight but I’ve been so unsuccessful, and I keep beating myself up about it. Now I realize it’s because I’ve been making inflated promises and not keeping them. Today I’m going to start with a baby promise I know that I can keep. I need confidence!! Thanks again, I think this is an aha! moment!
You got this! 🙂
I have a question; which is more effective/better – running 1 mile 5 times a week or running 5 miles once a week?
As long as you’re exercising most days of the week, it doesn’t really matter. You can run 5 miles once a week, and do other forms of cardio on the other days, or run shorter distances other days of the week. One caution: Some people can’t handle running multiple days in a row, so try and insert other activities on days between your running days. Good luck!