People always ask us what is the “secret” to transformation. They want to know about the magic diet plan or exercise. While Chris and I are certainly partial to our diet and exercise approach to weight loss, a quick Google search will pull up hundreds of ways to effectively lose weight. I’ll tell it to you straight: Looking to transform through diet and exercise is like making your way through a house of mirrors. There’s confusion everywhere, but one path that is always true. And that path has nothing to do with diet and exercise.
https://youtu.be/EXd8BEurYfs
Once you shift your focus to see the hidden path, everything changes. Let me show you!
“I promise” is a pretty common phrase. But what does it actually mean? It simply means you’ll do (or not do) what you say you’ll do (or not do). When you make a promise to someone else—you give them your word—you know you would move mountains to keep that promise.
But what about the promises you make to yourself?
Are these promises any different than those you make to others?
They shouldn’t be.
In fact, the promises you make to yourself should be the most important you keep because you are so, so important and others depend on you to be your best self.
Let’s be honest: While you’d never think of breaking a promise made to others, you’re often not as good at keeping those you make to yourself. This is especially true with us women—you know I’m right! 😉
Why is this?
Besides the fact that we often put ourselves and our needs and goals on the bottom of the list, there are some other reasons. To put it simply, there are two types of promises: those you keep and those you don’t. The main reason promises fit into the latter category is because they’re too big—they’re inflated. Some examples:
- I will do thirty minutes of cardio every morning.
- I will eat five smaller meals every day.
- I will never eat pizza again.
These types of promises are doomed from the get-go. There is no way they can be kept.
Another example of inflated promises is when you make too many promises to yourself at once, like if you tried to keep all three of the above promises. At one time.
Get the picture? Something will always happen to derail these types of promises, and that’s life.
So how do you make promises you can keep 100% of the time?
It’s actually a pretty simple process, and it’s followed by all our peeps on Extreme Weight Loss. They make a single promise to themselves—a promise that’s virtually unbreakable—and they keep it. Then they make another promise, and they keep that one. And so on. Look at it this way:
- Each promise you make is a brick in the personal transformation you’re building.
- Each promise you keep is the mortar that holds these bricks together, so your transformation foundation gets stronger with each promise kept.
Yes, I hear you: “That sounds great, Heidi, but how do I make promises I can keep no matter what? I’ve got this, and this, and this that get in the way.”
Here’s the secret: Your first promise to yourself—the first brick in your transformation foundation—must be so small that it’s actually doable, even when life gets in the way, because it will. And that’s a promise!
Here’s an example:
- When people ask how much cardio to do to burn fat, my answer is, “Five minutes.” Whatever activity you choose, do it for five minutes. That’s all. This is a promise you can keep every single day. And if those five minutes lead to five minutes more, that’s even better! But the promise is for only five minutes. And it’s not about the cardio—it’s about keeping that promise you made to yourself. That’s the key!
Simply put, our peeps keep their promises. If they promise themselves they’ll do thirty minutes of cardio, they do thirty minutes…maybe more. They NEVER stop at twenty-nine minutes. Never. And if we try to pull them off that treadmill at 29 minutes, they’ll shove us out of the way and get right back on!
Here’s another helpful hint:
- Successful promise keepers say their promises and goals out loud, and they also write them down. Share yours with those who love and support you, and you’ll be surprised how quickly these supporters become your biggest fans who will move those mountains to help you keep the promises you’ve made to yourself. It’s awesome!
So what do you do when you break a promise to yourself? You don’t quit, that’s for sure. There’s definitely a learning curve when you’re perfecting your ability to keep promises to yourself, and our peeps face this same learning curve pretty much every day as they’re developing this promise-keeping habit. When they break a promise to themselves, we follow this process: Confess to someone about the broken promise, Reassess to ensure the promise you made is a SMART promise/goal, and Recommit to something more attainable. It works for them, and I know it will work for you too!
Remember: Each promise kept—each brick laid—builds a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence that is rock-solid and indestructible.
Make that first promise to yourself and lay that first brick in your own transformation foundation.
And do it today! 
Xoxo,
Heidi
Still wanting more? Don’t forget to join us on our next journey with the TRANSFORM app.
180 Responses
I promise to stop eating after dinner and go to bed by 10:30, which will be the earliest night I’ve had in a while!
This is an awesome promise! You got this!
I needed to see this. I’ve never thought of it as making a promise to myself. Promises are something that do NOT get broken. Even saying I’ll DO this is a promise in my mind, as I feel keeping my word is inviolate. My problem is always “I’ll try”
Maybe I should have paid more attention to Yoda in Empire Strikes Back!
Thank’s so much for that. I have always had trouble being kind to myself. I originally lost 80 pounds but then due to reemerging memories of childhood abuse gained back 27-28 pounds while I was struggling to not become an alcoholic. Due to finally getting an anti-depressent and therapy…I lost about 25 of those pounds. Then heavy commitments along with toxic work stress brought it up again about 13 pounds.
Just recently I renewed my commitment to exercise…but got a stupid cold in the process…however doubling down on nutrition I have lost about 8 pounds in 3 weeks. I am commited to this.
My promise today: To eat only what I have layed out/logged in ahead of time this morning.
It’s always hard for me to get in tremendous amounts of exercise due to working full time/ and volunteer commitments including teaching at night…and the prepwork involved in that. So right now I won’t offer my commitment on that.
This is an awesome promise – you got this! Report back and tell us about your success! And congrats on those 8 pounds gone – that’s awesome. 🙂
I have never thought of making a promise to myself in regards to my wait. I have promised others that I would do better; the doc, my husband, whoever. But then I would find myself wanting to hide things from them. I realize now because I was promising too much at once. Then I would get overwhelmed and I would feel ashamed for letting them down. Sigh. The patter would repeat. Each time I would gain 10-15 lbs more. Right now I am at 275 and I am so weary of being defeated by my size.
I am not sure what my first promise to myself will be, but i will make it this weekend. I do not want to be flippant, so I want to make sure I truly mean it when I make the promise.
Thank you.
This is awesome! If it will help, reply back and declare your promise right here, and then report back and let us all know how you did. We’re all here for you and want you to be successful! You can do this!
I promise to move for 5 minutes a day, with intensity. I also promise to listen to my audiobook download of Chris’s book that I down loaded every day until it is finished.
I know that’s two promises. But i know I can keep both of them. 🙂
Awesome! You got this! Report back and let us know how you did.
Hi Heidi,
My name is Katelyn and I am 22 years old. I am 5’0ft tall and weight 170 lbs right now. I am trying to lose weight because I am getting married Aug 27th 2016. I want to look amazing when I walk down the aisle. I just got done reading about making a promise to yourself….. I recently made the promise to myself to drink 1 gallon of water everyday. So far I am for 2 weeks, I also have 3 other people doing this with me. I have cut out soda’s from my diet. I just want to say what an inspiration you are to me. You help people transform not only there bodies but their minds as well. This article has really made me think about how it is not just a “challenge” to drink water but its a PROMISE to myself! Thank you for all you do!
Hi Katelyn: This is awesome! Aren’t promises so powerful?! You got this! And congratulations on your upcoming wedding – that’s so exciting!
Heidi
Thank you for sharing all of this. However, I feel like I am a hopeless case. I’ve tried everything to lose weight. I’m 52 years old, a diabetic, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, a thyroid cancer survivor and feel completely alone. I truly try hard to lose weight and when I start seeing a very small decrease in weight (and I mean SMALL) the numbers start going back up. I have no motivation anymore, and no encouragement from anyone. I feel like I’m spiraling down and can’t stop. I don’t want to be trapped in this body any longer! HELP!!
Hi Deanna: I’m so sorry you’re so frustrated. Are you familiar with Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program? You can learn all about it in their book, “Choose More, Lose More for Life.” The book contains their complete nutrition and exercise program, and it’s the same one they use on the show. It will teach you everything you need to know and do to achieve your own transformation! Learn all about it here: https://heidipowell.net/9060/how-to-begin-your-transformation-journey-step-by-step/. As with any nutrition and exercise program, please discuss their program with your healthcare team first, and then follow their recommendations. And these small, simple promises talked about in this post truly are the key to achieving any goal, so give it a try! What will your first promise be today? You can do this!
Heidi,
On the last few episodes I have noticed the contestants using a lumbar support for sit ups. Which brand are they using? Thanks!
Penny
Thank you for sending this to me on Twitter Heidi. I was talking to a friend tonight about needing to love myself more. This came from a day after losing another former friend to death today. The thing is I’ve come to realize everything I’ve been doing I’ve been doing for others. After years of abuse, then recovering from bulimia but now needing to learn to not just lose weight healthy and stop binging but to learn to love myself. And that is going to be my first brick. To try everyday to do something healthy to show much self that I am worth it. Even if it’s for 15 minutes. Just to spend that time trying to forget the bullies and abusers and to remember that I am worth more. At least try to believe it. Thanks again. You and your husband do so many great things. J have always wished to spend one hour with you face to face but that dream had grown and I hope to one day be as amazing as the two of you are. Thanks for everything.
Hi Emily: I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, and I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. It sounds like you are definitely on the right track – make and keep those daily promises to yourself, and the sky’s the limit for you! You can do this!
I believe in the promises. I have been enjoying your work (tv, books), and in the last year I make promises. One at a time. They become habit and preference and then a new promise is added. Within the last year I have lost 37 lbs, feel the healthiest and fittest in my life. I am affecting my family to make better choices health wise by leading by example. Also with the health and the fitness, came less stress, peace of mind and an overall happier life. Thanks to you both for all that you do to motivate, inspire and encourage people.
Awesome! Congrats on those 37 pounds gone – that is so exciting!
hi heidi, how can i get a body like you? i have always want to have a body like. i have try so many kids of workouts i never do see a change in me. something i want to give cause it is not doing anything. i want to transform my body from fat to muscle but i dont know were to start. i have though about getting a fitness trainer but i just dont have the money for it. i have watch your shows i have almost seen every one but i wish i can be on that so that i can change my body looking muscler not fat. it would mean a lot to if you can help me with that goal.
Hi Meghann: Check out Chris and Heidi’s carb cycling program in their book, “Choose More, Lose More for Life.” The book contains their complete nutrition and exercise program, and it’s the same one they use on the show. It will teach you everything you need to know and do to achieve your own transformation! Learn all about it here: https://heidipowell.net/9060/how-to-begin-your-transformation-journey-step-by-step/. You can totally do this!