I’m talking to all of my 40+ women! Whether you are navigating the thick of perimenopause or just feeling the natural shifts that come with this decade, at some point…

We stopped running. We stopped jumping. We stopped sprinting. We stopped playing.

At some point, movement became calories burned, steps tracked, workouts optimized, and trying to fix our bodies instead of something that made us feel ALIVE.

And listen…I love training with intention. But I also think there’s something incredibly healing about moving your body in a way that feels FREE instead of moving your body in a way that feels punishing, or because your watch told you to, or because you’re trying to “earn” your food. This is especially true when our bodies are already working so hard through the hormonal changes of our 40s and 50s.

Simply moving because it feels good.

So yes, sometimes I sprint because little Heidi would’ve thought it was fun, and I think more of us need to find that kind of movement again! Things like…

• Rollerblading

• Dancing

• Riding bikes

• Playing tag with your kids

• Jumping in the pool

• Sprinting even when no one is chasing you

If you find yourself missing the pure enjoyment that can come from moving your body just because you want to—that “play” part of your life, there is some incredible psychological and physiological research that backs up exactly what you are feeling. It’s about a shift from intrinsic motivation (moving because it feels good—it’s something you want to do) to extrinsic motivation (moving to manipulate a metric or hit a target). When movement moves from playing to tracking data, from a “want to” to a “have to,” the psychological cost can be heavy because what used to be fun is now viewed as work—as a chore. And let’s be real: There is a huge difference between fun and any type of work.

The Backlash Against “Optimization Culture” in Our 40s

My friends, we have hit a collective burnout with tracking. Psychology Today calls it “Wellnessmaxxing,” and it’s the absolutely exhausting idea that every step, calorie, and minute of sleep must be measured and optimized—that “optimization culture.” Yes, it is so beneficial to be aware of your movement, nutrition, and sleep, but as with anything in life, this awareness can be taken to the extreme.

Add the natural fatigue, brain fog, and shifting energy levels of perimenopause to the mix, and the result? It can turn habits that can lead to long-term health into a source of burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, and more stress instead.

I always love doing my fitness challenges, and the amazing results our participants achieve are so motivating and inspiring. But I know, from experience, that there can be a very fine line between that intrinsic and extrinsic motivation when it comes to any type of fitness challenge or workout routine, especially those that are more intense. A 2026 article by the Cleveland Clinic called “Joyful Movement” talks about how to have fun with movement while still getting all those benefits of exercise we all want and need for long-term health. “Joyful Movement” is a mindset shift that can help you achieve your health and fitness goals in ways that are more joyful and personally satisfying. It makes it easier to stick to a workout routine while also avoiding the burnout and potential injuries that can result when you push yourself too hard to hit those numbers on your smartwatch, or to achieve an external “reward” from an intense program.

I’m 100% on board for finding more joy in my life in any ways I can, especially when it comes to moving my body.

Appearance vs. Functionality (The Self-Objectification Trap)

As our bodies change during perimenopause, the minute movement shifts from intrinsic to extrinsic motivation—from taking care of your body in ways that makes you feel joy to trying to “fix” your body or “earn” your food—we’ve got a problem, my friends.

This latter form of exercise is called “appearance-focused exercise” (extrinsically-motivated exercise), and research published in PLOS One found that when women focus on this type of movement, they can often feel judged for their appearance, leading to feelings of not being enough or being too much, self-criticism, higher body dissatisfaction, and overall negative body image. This form of exercise can actually decrease the benefits from working out as well as negatively affect your psychological well-being.

What’s the fix for this problem? It’s the complete opposite of “appearance-focused exercise,” and it’s called “functional-focused exercise” (intrinsically-motivated exercise), where the goal is to achieve optimal health and quality of life while also reducing injury risk. It’s about moving for what your body can do or how it feels while also training your body for everyday tasks. This type of movement can lead to long-term exercise consistency, higher self-efficacy (belief in you and your ability to succeed), and a lower risk of developing an eating disorder.

Makes sense, right?!?!

Self-Determination Theory: The “Why” Matters

Self-Determination Theory, one of the foundations of behavioral psychology, states that we have three basic psychological needs to stay intrinsically motivated: Autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

• Autonomy: Feeling like you have a choice in your actions.

• Competence: Mastering and being effective in your activities.

• Relatedness: Feeling connected to and belonging with others.

Here’s how it works when it comes to the science of play and the two types of motivation we’re talking about:

• When you move because your watch or an app told you to, or because you feel guilt, your autonomy is stripped away. You’ve moved from intrinsic to extrinsic motivation.

• When your workouts are focused solely on achieving a reward versus focusing on learning how to achieve optimal health, your competence can suffer because you’re not mastering anything—you’re doing what it takes to get that reward. Again, you’ve moved from intrinsic to extrinsic motivation.

• When you focus on achieving that “outside” reward, it can be more difficult to connect to and belong with others—that relatedness we all need. When this happens, you’re in that extrinsic motivation space.

Here’s where the WHY comes in—WHY you should aim for intrinsic motivation every single time, no matter what you’re doing:

Studies show that while extrinsic motivators (like fear of aging or midlife weight gain) might get someone to start a workout routine, only intrinsic motivators (like reduced stress, improved mood, and the sheer fun of play) can sustain it over a lifetime. Extrinsic motivation is often temporary, while intrinsic motivation can be long-term. It’s as simple as that.

The Neuroscience of Play and Hormone Balance

The National Library of Medicine found that when you engage in playful, unstructured movement—like jumping in the pool, dancing, or sprinting just for fun—your cortisol (the stress hormone) levels are lower. Because cortisol naturally spikes during perimenopause and can trigger everything from hot flashes to sleep disruptions, finding ways to lower it naturally is a game-changer.

Simultaneously, your brain releases dopamine, which makes you want to play even more. Your parasympathetic nervous system is also activated, which signals your body to rest (and we all need more rest!). On the other hand, when you’re grinding through a workout on repeat, the exact opposite reactions can happen.

The Big Takeaway: The American Heart Association recommends 150 minutes of moderate movement a week, which can reduce your cardiovascular risk by 30–40%. But your cells don’t care if those minutes come from an optimized zone on a smart watch or from a game of tag in the backyard. The backyard game is just the one you’ll actually want to repeat. The important thing is to get in those minutes any way you choose.

Here are some “playful” ideas to get you started, and be sure to involve the kids too!

• Hit the pool

• Take a walk

• Go for a bike ride

• Take a hike

• Do some sightseeing—on foot

• Play games like hopscotch, tag, capture the flag, kick the can, Red Rover, and so on

• Play at the playground

• Play active video games

• Go paddleboarding, canoeing, or kayaking

• Try a new sport

• Do some gardening

Author Roald Dahl so wisely said, “A little nonsense [i.e. play] now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” What’s something you used to LOVE to do that would make movement feel fun again? Leave it in a comment below!

Xo,

Related reading:

Exercise Because You Love Your Body, Not Because You Hate It
Sharpen the Saw || Unplug and Plug IN to Life!
Goal Setting: 3 Things Making You Play Life Small
What “Transformation” Really Means